Inclusivity in Houston and the fish out of water concept

By Derick Matthews

New year, new beginnings, and still the same questions that afflict so many of us in the LGBTQIA+ world and beyond: ‘How Do I Make Real Connections?’

Relatively new to the Montrose scene myself, navigating what can sometimes seems like an overwhelming sense of society, but also an engaging community, finding those authentic people in your life that will sustain you moving forward can be a bit of a challenge. Thankfully, I have discovered a small loyal circle on whom I can rely when the going gets rough.

Recently I brought a member of my family into the Montrose fold over the holidays, I wanted to enlighten them with the potential rewards that our beautiful little world has to offer. She (we’ll call her Shae), recently transitioned herself and considers themselves now a part of the Trans-Community, but has also identified as non-binary in the past, was a mix of emotions when I first exposed her to the Houston/Montrose scene. While innately curious about the diverse club scenes and people that socialize among us, Shae was also a bit hesitant to dive into the water, so to speak, and used mine, as well as others’ judgment, she trusted to sort of guide her to the right group of individuals who would be the most accepting/past the “vibe” check.

 The common thread and/or worry that appears when we step outside of our comfort zones and try to form new relationships is the fear of rejection, and what mutual interests are we looking for in others. So often in my own experience, when navigating the gay world, I would find that I had to be on guard somewhat between those who had pure intentions and others who may have had an agenda. In Shae’s case, I took both the part of playing host and parental figure at times, while in the same mindset of trying to destigmatize any preconceived notions that she might have had.

 In this ever-changing climate that can be both unifying and provide uncertainty, I believe that it should be all of our goals collectively to be more inclusive and not so “cliquey,” so to speak, and instead allow room for those who don’t have a home to claim as their own. To quote the fabulous Michael Tolliver from the indelible ‘Tales of the City’, “You don’t have to keep up, dear, you just have to keep open.”

And if those aren’t words to live by, then I don’t know what is.

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