Dear Tamara

Dear Tamara,

We have a situation that honestly,we’re not sure how to even comprehend.

My family has always known I was gay male. I had come out even back in high school. The issue is that my boyfriend and I finally decided to get married.

Ever since our wedding day things have been quite different with my sister and her husband. Their youngest had a birthday party and we were not invited. I was deeply hurt that they didn’t include us.

My husband said I was reading too much into this, and that I should just ask my sister why we didn’t get the invitation. I tried calling and every time I was getting ready to ask her something. She made an excuse and said she had to go. Obviously this added to my confusion and we both feel that there is something more to the story. A few weeks later I stopped by unannounced and wanted to ask her what the issue was.

After a silent period she finally stated that her husband didn’t think it’s appropriate that their daughter be subjected to having to explain she had two uncles. I was quite shaken by this that now we’re excluded from my nieces and nephew’s life. Any advice you could share.
John T., Sugar Land

Dear John,
I very much agree with your sentiment on this situation. Like most LGBTQ+ couples were often penalized by various members of our immediate family.

I would offer them an open conversation with both your sister and brother in law. To advise that it’s not fair to penalize the daughter or her uncles from being part of the celebration. Instead we should focus on family unity, then feeling like they’re forced to explain to a six year old about their two uncles. Children only understand what they are taught and indifference is often seen as hate not love.

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