By Randall Jobe Of the 72.1 million Millennials living in the United States, I am fervently looking for any two, any day in the workforce who extend what for the generations before was considered “common courtesy.” Seriously, you sullen-faced, non-communicative, emoji-crazy, semi slackers, would it kill you to take a little pride in your minimum-waged

By Randall Jobe  All right, damnit, I’ll admit it. In my opinion, I am judgmental to the point of possibly being mistaken for a bitchy queen. I know, hard to believe, right? Many of my “opinions” are not based on Webster’s definition of “careful thought.” Who has time for that? I need about 7-1/2 seconds

“Oh, when I was a kid in show business, I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.”   —Rodney Dangerfield  “Home is heaven and orgies are vile, but I like an orgy once in a while.”   —Ogden Nash  By Randall Jobe  Just a month ago, encouraged by the CDC, I was

By Randall Jobe  Facing another year of dicey family gatherings calls to remain masking, vaccines, and boosters that are not completely effective against a new COVID-19 variant and radio stations still playing The Chipmunks, I struggled — really struggled.   Is it just me or did anyone else have trouble wrapping a difficult year in a

By Randall Jobe Lodged between a restaurant and a dive bar in the “no zoning laws” Houston Heights there is much activity that can easily annoy or test your level of acceptance of the situation. There is also the option to find a bit of humor among the madness and include it in a newspaper

By Randall Jobe “Today’s final Jeopardy category is Boobs, Butts, and Botox. You have 60 seconds. Good luck. This person’s ‘stardom’ was orchestrated by a grainy sex tape.” (Cue music.) Don’t get me wrong. I am all for someone achieving success and notoriety through hard work and true talent. What chaps my ass like a

“I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.” —Anonymous By Randall Jobe Three times a week at 6 a.m., I drag my lazy butt out of my comfy bed to head to dialysis. On each of those mornings there are 20 or so gluttons

By Randall Jobe Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. Gloom, despair, and agony on me. —Hee Haw’s Buck Owens and Roy Clark Other than having strong commentary when encountering ineptitude, lack of etiquette, bad hygiene, bad driving, bad

By Randall Jobe “I miss me. The old me. The happy me. The bright me. The smiling me. The laughing me. The gone me.” —Anonymous Having never been married (due to a list too long to recount), it is only through fierce observation that I have concluded that it might be one of the most

By Randall Jobe “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.”—Stephen W. HawkingOn a recent trip to Puerto Morales, Mexico I allowed a well-intentioned friend to make my flight arrangements. If we had not been friends for almost 40 years I would call her out by