UNDER HIS EYE

By Nancy Ford ––

And so it begins

Well gang, here we are. Barely a month after he raised his pudgy little left hand — though notably didn’t place his right hand upon the Bible — to swear to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, the first sequel to “Donald Trump 45” just dropped. And it’s a blockbuster.

“Donald Trump 47: Trump Hard with a Vengeance” kicked off with a flurry of Executive Orders impacting a whole spectrum of subjects including immigration, the climate crisis, healthcare and, just for fun, a special “Fuck you!” to our southern neighbors that calls for renaming the Gulf of Mexico.

Especially horrifying was footage of the new old president gleefully signing stacks of Executive Orders. The EOs are specifically designed to curtail the rights and freedoms of minorities, political opponents, women, children, queers, other-abled folks and just about anyone who doesn’t have a “Make America Great Again” tramp stamp tattooed across their lower back.

Particularly annoying was Trump’s delighted response each time he was handed a new document to sign. “Oooh, that’s a big one!” he’d drool. He sounded like he had just been served a McDonald’s double cheeseburger instead of a single all-beef patty. Or when he was ogling Arnold Palmer’s 3-wood on a golf course.

Of course, attacking LGBTQ rights was one of 47’s highest promised priorities. The impact of the stacks and stacks and stacks of these orders signed by the United States’ new Commander in Cheat — uh, Chief — has already hit Houston’s LGBTQ community.

In late January, The Greater Houston LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce planned to hold an event titled “Thrive Small Business Summit & Matchmaker” at the Houston branch of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas. More than 100 participants were expected to attend that night. Three days before the get-together was to occur, Chamber leaders received an email from a representative of that bank.

“Our operating understanding was that the Thrive event was permissible because of its business and economic development focus,” a bank representative wrote in a Monday night email to Tammi Wallace, the stalwart president and chief executive officer of the Chamber. “Unfortunately, this evening, we learned that we could not host the event and remain in compliance with the executive order. We deeply regret having to make this change.”

Trump’s shiny new order that prevented Chamber members from thriving and matchmaking at the bank falls under the guise of “protecting women and children.” It reads, in part:

“It is the policy of the United States to recognize two sexes, male and female. These sexes are not changeable and are grounded in fundamental and incontrovertible reality.”

The order further directs federal agencies to “enforce laws governing sex-based rights, protections, opportunities, and accommodations,” and requires all agencies to “end the Federal funding of gender ideology.”

Read that passage again, but out loud — very loudly — and this time with a German accent. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

So from now on there will be none of that homosexual carousing like networking and exchanging business cards (do people still do that?) at any federally mandated financial institutions under this administration.

“It was a gut punch,” Wallace told the Houston Chronicle before scurrying to move the Chamber event to the non-federally funded Hilton Garden Inn. “Here’s an event that’s about businesses. It’s about our economy; it’s about supporting small businesses that are working hard … so to get this email was very painful. It was very painful reading that, especially considering everything we’ve seen in the last few weeks — just knowing this is what’s happening in our country.”

Keep in mind, this deplorable mandate wasn’t aimed at a “regular” retailer that can easily be boycotted for their exclusionary business decisions, like Chick-fil-A or Bud Light. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t all reputable financial institutions regulated by the Federal government to protect depositors? If that is true, where are people of conscious supposed to have our savings accounts? Checking accounts? Credit cards? Home loans? Auto loans? Personal loans to fund our toddlers’ gender reassignment surgeries?

Until someone opens the First Fabulously Homosexual Bank of Montrose, we may be forced to stuff our queer dollars in our mattresses and hope for the best.

Admittedly, I’m no financial whiz. It’s entirely possible I’m misunderstanding the parameters imposed on financial institutions and any other federally funded entities by this onerous Executive Order. Regardless, we know this administration’s overall intention with these assaults: to sow chaos, unrest and upheaval. To bully fellow Americans who resist his craven lust for power. Welcome to the Golden Age of America, indeed.

We haven’t yet received the order that we must respond with “Blessed be his name!” when Trump comes up in casual conversation. Perhaps by the time this issue of MONTROSE STAR is printed, that command will be in effect.

Fasten your seat belts, friends. It’s going to be a bumpy coup.

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