What a summer

By Nancy Ford

Is it just me, or has the summer of 2024 been especially, oppressively, aggressively hot? The temperature has been high, too. (Pa dum-bum.)

Two national political conventions provided a steady stream of … what’s the word I’m looking for…? Let’s call it “entertainment.”

The Republicans gathered in Milwaukee. They wore cheese hats and nominated a big block of Wisconsin Brick to represent their party on Election Day. A few days earlier, Trump got shot.

The Democrats gathered in Chicago. Nobody wore a hot dog hat. They nominated Kamala Harris to be the nation’s first woman Commander in Chief. As such, they were more notable and, as such, more quotable. And nobody got shot.

As we head into these blessed cooler months of autumn, let’s take a look back at the cast of characters who gave us — for better or for worse — a sizzling political season we won’t soon forget.

Proud Texan, strong woman

Among the many stellar moments of Democrats’ nearly weeklong convention, 21-year old Texas delegate Olivia Juliana killed it, representing Texas with fire and power. And she introduced Stevie Freakin’ Wonder!

The words she spoke that night to the crowd — and to the world — bear repeating:
“Hello from a proud Texas Democrat! This November, I will have my first vote in a presidential election ever. The fact is, our right to vote is under attack. I have seen it. People blocked from registering to vote. Texans denied our vote. Donald Trump’s Republicans are making it harder for us to vote. But we will not let them get away with it. And Kamala Harris will not let them get away with it, either. She fought for our freedom, for our voice. But we will only be heard if we vote. As the saying goes, if you are not at the table, you are on the menu. So let’s take our seats in our democracy and cast our ballots this November for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. And now, ladies and gentlemen, American icon, Stevie Wonder!”

Thanks, Juliana. Higher ground, indeed.

Gus Walz, loving son

The 17-year old young man, who has a non-verbal learning disorder, was so proud of his father being onstage at the Democratic Convention that he leapt to his feet, tears running down his face, and yelled proudly, ‘That’s my dad!”

Betcha neither Eric nor Don Jr would never be similarly moved to display such an unbridled outburst of raw love and emotion at the appearance of their dad, unless they were identifying him in a lineup.

In response to Gus’s enthusiastic reaction, ultra-right wing media darling Ann Coulter called him weird.

What else do you need to know about today’s GOP?

Shooting for the stars

It started out as a Trump rally like any other Trump rally. He squinted and shouted and shook his fist. A fine line of spittle collected around his tiny, puckered, orange blowhole as lie after lie came tumbling out. His acolytes were glassy-eyed and duly adulative. They shouted out requests for their leader to play his greatest hits, including “Build the wall!” And “We love Trump!” And “Bullshit!” Just another rally.

He was just about to share manipulated data about immigration when several shots rang out. A few moments later, two people, one of whom was the shooter, were dead. Two more were wounded. Trump’s hand covered his bleeding right ear as Secret Service members whisked him away, but not before he demanded they retrieve his shoes that he somehow kicked off in the melee. (He was probably afraid someone from the press might snatch them up and reveal his height-enhancing lifts.)

Shoes secured, Trump raised his fist and screamed, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” and then was taken to a local hospital.

For the next few days, Trump would appear with a Kotex-y looking bandage over the ear, as would some of his supporters. Within two weeks the dressing was gone and Trump’s ear seemed to be fully healed.

For more details, turn in your Bibles to the Book of Revelation.

The age of Kamala

In possibly one of the most selfless acts ever committed by a political figure, Joe Biden announced he would not seek a second term as President of the United States.

President Biden’s stepping-down cleared the way for his Vice President, Kamala Harris, to easily snag the nomination to run as the Democrats’ nominee in November.

“Our opponents in this race are out there, every day, denigrating America,” Harris said emphatically in her acceptance speech. “Talking about how terrible everything is. Well, my mother had another lesson she used to teach. Never let anyone tell you who you are. You show them who you are. America, let us show each other — and the world — who we are. And what we stand for. Freedom. Opportunity. Compassion. Dignity. Fairness. And endless possibilities.”

And just like that, Americans and most of the rest of the world’s population were filled with hope.

We understand the assignment. Let’s do this.

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