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The Ultimate Guide to Gay Gift Giving 2021
By Mikey Rox
Stumped on what gifts to give your family, friends, and neighbors this year?
Check this list then check it twice — because while you’ve been naughty, they’ve been nice.
YuJet Surfer Electric Jetboard
If ocean-based watersports scare the bejesus out of you — because sharks! — the YuJet Surfer Electronic Jetboard offers a compromise to satisfy your thrill-seeking, all limbs intact. With a top speed of 24 mph, a range of 16 miles, and a 40-minute ride time, users can sit or stand on the battery-powered, remote-operated board that quietly glides across lakes, rivers, canals, and other bodies of water devoid of man-eating monsters. $10,000, YuJetUSA.com
Mind-Pop Casserole Pans
Perfect for campground cooking or gourmet meals made at home, Darling Spring’s ultra-pretty Mind-Pop enamel casserole pans by Kapka add a Pollock-splashed joie de vivre to the meal-making experience, which seamlessly moves from stovetop to serving table without dirtying another dish. $45, DarlingSpring.com
Oclean Water Flosser
Traditional floss isn’t exactly a budget buster, but the Oclean W10 Water Flosser is a sleek, no-waste and, yes, cheaper-in-the-long-run alternative with five distinctive modes and four high-performance nozzles to keeps the crevices between those pearly whites crud- and cavity-free. $60, Oclean.com
Flat Brim Wines
Bring a trio of varietals to the Thanksgiving table with Flat Brim Wines’ Not Series, including the 2020 “Not Tragic†Pinot Noir, 2020 “Not Basic†Picpoul/Roussanne, and 2020 “Not Extra,†which, if it were Opposite Day, two out of three would describe you to a T.
Playcraft Shuffleboard Table
Playcraft edges out its at-home gaming competition with the Georgetown Espresso Shuffleboard featuring solid wood construction, richly stained accent features, and furniture-grade finishes that are a far cry from the warped, frat boy-abused tables dying slow deaths in dive bars everywhere. $1,595, SawyerTwain.com
ChefWave Milkmade
Round up your favorite rice, soybeans, nuts, and oats for homemade vegan milk alternatives that cost pennies on the dollar compared to pre-packaged versions of the same at your local supermarket. Just add water and a handful of your desired ingredient to churn out 20 ounces of liquid health in about 15 minutes. $200, MyChefWave.com
Cambridge Audio Evo 75
You may not regard London, England, as synonymous with audio innovation, but you’ll change that tune after listening to your favorite artists streaming through Cambridge Audio’s Evo 75, the sleek, cutting-edge, all-in-one system pumping out crystal-clear sound quality fit for a queen — like you. $2,250, CambridgeAudio.com
Wild Roots Spirits
Wild Roots Spirits’ five-times filtered, five-times distilled corn-based vodkas – in seasonal flavors like pear, cranberry, and apple-cinnamon – will spice up your soft and hard holiday seltzers and sodas for a little added zip on your lips. $30, WildRootsSpirits.com
Takumi by Yokai Express
Not only can the Takumi machine cook ramen, dim sum, rice, dumplings, pasta, and more, but it also has the dubious distinction of being the choice ramen-making machine of Tesla’s offices — because of course, it is: Elon Musk wouldn’t be caught dead microwaving Oodles of Noodles like the rest of us broke-ass schlubs. $400, YokaiExpress.com
Oliver Charles Sweater
What do you get when Tibetan yak wool meets the world’s most advanced 3D-knitting machines? An antimicrobial, soft-as-cashmere, day-to-night sweater that instantly becomes one of the most versatile and comfortable pieces in your closet that rarely needs washing. $220, Oliver-Charles.com
Knitting Knowledge Starter Kits
If the summer Olympics taught us anything it’s that Tom Daley is a multitalented athlete poised to take knitting gold someday, and you can train for your spot on the team with Knitting Knowledge starter kits, including beginner socks, baby blankets, and beanies that include everything you’ll need — from yarn to needles to patterns — to complete the project with a perfect score. $18 to $80, KnittingKnowledge.com
Electronic Bidet
If you’ve been on the fence about installing a backside-cleansing bidet in your bathroom (attention all bottoms!), consider this: Toilet paper isn’t getting any cheaper, and it only takes a moderate COVID-induced run on the supermarkets before you’re forced to hunt it down on the black markets — again. $140 to $650, Brondell.com
Stark Custom Kitchen Knives
Upgrade your store-bought block knives to a set of Stark Creations chef’s, paring, and nakiri custom knives, forged from scratch to complement your personality or overall kitchen aesthetic. $265-$515, StarkCreationsUS.com
American Blossom Organic Blanket
Roast your nuts by an open fire during an in-the-buff cuddle sesh featuring your fave holiday flicks in American Blossom’s herringbone weave blanket made from West Texas Organic Cotton. Save a horse, y’all. $195, AmericanBlossomLinens.com
Erica’s Tea Room Scones
Gild the proverbial lilies of your holiday breakfast spread with a selection of Erika’s Tea Room “Florida Famous†scones in comfort-food flavors like orange-cranberry, white chocolate-apricot, rum raisin, caramel-walnut, and piña colada, among other classic mashups. $36 to $42 per dozen, ErikasTeaRoom.com
RadRover 6 Plus
From a custom geared-hub motor that climbs hills 25 percent faster with more torque and extended range to all-new hydraulic brakes that provide superior stopping power, the best-in-class RadRover 6 Plus is basically the Range Rover of e-bikes — with far less depreciation per dollar. $2,000, RadPowerBikes.com
Hoppy Hanukkah Experience + Santa Clausthaler
Celebrate a “Hoppy Hanukkah†with Brewvana’s nontraditional advent calendar that conceals eight beers, one for the first night of the Festival of Lights and a full week after. If you’re laying off the hooch this holiday season but still want to participate in the spirit of it all, throw back a few non-alcoholic Santa Clausthalers, infused with cinnamon and cranberry for a cider-like refresher. $75, Brewvana.com. $10, Schofferhofer.us
Wildwood Candle Co.
Sick of pumpkin spice stinkin’ up the joint? Fill your rooms with more nuanced fall scents — like maple, sandalwood, cypress, and birch — available in a bundled seasonal foursome from eco-friendly Wildwood Candle Co. and inspired by the enchanting, well-traveled trails of Portland, Oregon’s Forest Park. $88, WildwoodCandleCo.com
PrestigeHaus Decanter
Whiskey lovers who grab life by the horns (and sometimes the balls) will count this hand-blown, lead-free bull decanter among their prized possessions this Christmas while you enjoy the holly-jolly feeling of knowing that each purchase plants a tree. $80, PresitgeHaus.com
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels
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