The ‘Bartender Bunch’ have stories to tell

By Johnny Trlica

For anyone who has ever visited a gay bar, they have likely seen something crazy, weird, funny or gross go down. If you’ve accumulated a few shocking stories as a mere patron in the bar for a couple of hours, imagine all the stories bartenders collect, being in that environment on a full-time basis.

As we leave 2025, let’s take one last look at what our Bartenders of the Month had to say when asked, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen from behind the bar?”

Left to right, top to bottom: Chris Commander, Chris Contello, Sherry Boyett, Casey Reed, Crystal Murley, Alex Keller, Kirby James Henderson, Mykey, Joshua Mills, Dominic Borsellino, Charles Garibay and Louis Johnston

Chris Contello (currently at Varsity Bar, formerly at Eagle): A very long time ago, there was a customer who would apply White-Out to her teeth while sitting at the bar. And after a few Cuervo shots, it would start to peel off. She would also pull out an electric trimmer and clean up her 5 o’clock shadow.

Joshua Mills (Island Time Beach Bar and Grill): One night, while escorting a guest out, the poor guy got so scared sh*tless, he literally lost control of his bowels. On my shoes.

Charles Garibay (currently at Varsity Bar, formerly at Eagle): Aside from the full-on sex on the pool table in the middle of the bar room? That was very entertaining, and other onlookers enjoyed it as well! Another time, I had this rather attractive couple walk into the bar naked, walk up to me and ordered drinks. To be honest, it really didn’t faze me at all, but most of the other customers seemed offended and started to yell for them to leave. I closed their tab and told them we had a dress code! Hahahaha! True story.

Alex Keller (Robert’s Lafitte): One time, a guy casually put a line of cocaine on my bar like it was just another cocktail order. I told him to get rid of it, and when he paused to check with his friend — like it was a group decision — I just leaned in and blew it off the bar. Problem solved.

Casey Reed (Play Nightlife): Everything from the whole bar fighting to people having sex. But really, I’ve seen so much crazy stuff. Looking back, probably the craziest was when some drunk came into Rumors (Galveston) and got into it with the regulars. Josh Mills and I had to push him out of the bar, and while we did, he crapped his shorts, and it came right out the bottom of his shorts and onto our legs and shoes. We never saw that guy again!

Louis Johnston (Bar 43 and Island Pier Club): One Saturday night, a guy came in and started slamming drinks like he was training for the Olympics. The next day, he strolls back in looking like death warmed over and says, “Louie, I think somebody slipped me a date-rape drug last night.” So, I asked him, “When you woke up this morning, were your panties down around your ankles, and your rear end all greasy?” and he said “No,” to which I replied, “Then why would they waste the drug?” Moral of the story? Never try to explain your hangover to your bartender — we already know the culprit.

Chris Commander (Barcode):
Well, that may be inappropriate, hahaha. I couldn’t pick just one single thing for that question!

Sherry Boyett (formerly at 23rd Street Station): Like an episode from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I had a customer pull a chainsaw out of the trunk of his car and threaten the entire bar staff. Thankfully, it was an amazing bar staff who were able to tackle him before anyone was seriously injured. I lived in Arlington, Texas, at the time.
Crystal Murley (George Country Sports Bar): In my time behind the bar, I’ve seen plenty of fights for no reason. That’s pretty crazy to me.

Kirby James Henderson (Barcode): I’ve seen some really crazy things from behind the bar — from barstools being tossed across the bar, to a lady once getting punched right in the face right in front of me while ordering a drink. People even lining up their favors of the night on the bar top. But I would have to say the craziest was shortly after I started at Barcode. There are these three guys standing there, I was waiting to get their drink order, and they started talking about their penis size. Each one said, “mine is bigger,” and somebody said prove it. The next thing I know, there’s three dicks dangling out of their pants right in front of my register. I have to say going from being at straight bars to gay bars, there’s definitely a difference. But I love it.

Mykey (Tony’s Corner Pocket): Someone drank a shot, and it came right back out, kinda like the exorcist. OMG, I can remember the smell. Horrible. I cleaned up, changed into a backup pair (thanks to a friend with emergency footwear), and got back to work. Business was booming, and so was the bleach.

Dominic Borsellino (Montrose Country Club): Plenty of fights at plenty of bars! Unfortunately, not many bars in Galveston have security, so I had to be security, bartender, and manager. Kicking people out sort of became my specialty. They think “the small bartender won’t do anything,” and then get surprised when I do.

Let’s raise a glass and toast the Bartender Bunch, and may 2026 bring lots of good cheer and tips.

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