PLUM LOCO MOTIVES: All aboard the Trump train

By Nancy Ford ––

Loyal WAW readers know that I usually wait ’til November to throw up my hands in exasperation and utter the words, ‘What a year’ but here we are. And guess who is responsible for that? If you guessed Republicans, you’re right! You win!

In less than three months, we have seen U.S. President Donald Trump kick of his second term with a dizzying array of atrocities.

  • Migrants fleeing their own impoverished and oppressive countries for freedom — you know, those folks who are tired and poor and yearning to be free — now find themselves incarcerated within the infamous walls of Guantanamo Bay. The facility, you may remember, is a “detention center” where prisoners suspected of being terrorists were tortured during the Bush/Cheney era by the U.S. military.
  • Hey, would-be immigrants: Got an extra $5 million to spare? If so, Trump would like to present you with his beautiful new product, the Gold Green Card, reducing the equitable path to U.S. citizenship to an episode of The Price Is Right. Among its amazing perks, the Gold Green card entitles bearers VIP access, eliminating the inconvenience of waiting in line for naturalization. Come on down!
  • Established by President Joe Biden, the Family Reunification Task Force reunited migrant children with their parents after they were separated by border officials. This humanitarian venture was too snowflakey for Trump. When Jesus said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me,” he didn’t mean make little children suffer. Maybe the Red Hats should try reading their Trump Bibles instead of trying to thump the less fortunate with it.
  • Bye-bye, birthright citizenship. This is not a Biden-era provision, mind you. It was added to the 14th Amendment of the Constitution back in 1868. No good, Trump said. Never mind that Trump’s youngest son (that we know of) snuck under the razor wire to avoid being an anchor baby by just a couple of years.
  • Was anyone surprised by the announcement that Trump is drooling to turn war-torn Gaza into a posh, vacation destination spot “owned” by the United States? Let’s call it Gaza-Lago. No big deal, right? I mean, we all remember when Lyndon Johnson tried to turn Vietnam into one big-ass barbecue. Say it with me: Manifest destiny rocks!
  • Flipping the bird to decades of nonpartisan research that proves gender is a spectrum that cannot be reduced to hard numbers, Trump decreed that male and female are the sole genders. Two genders. That’s it, that’s all. Well, he did including ending “transgender nonsense” among his campaign promises, didn’t he?
    Promises made, promises kept.
  • Then there was a little meeting in the Oval Office when Trump and Vice President J.D. (don’t call me “Vivian”) Vance attempted to bully and humiliate the president of a U.S. ally, because being attacked by Putin’s Russia isn’t painful enough. To President Zelenskyy and the people of Ukraine: Please forgive us. People of his district he was elected to protect. And if you believe that one, Trump has an oceanfront condo in Gaza-Lago he wants to sell you.

A dear friend recently reminded me that even if Trump’s red-faced tirades result in a massive stroke in his tiny brain, there are many boxcars in the tyrannical Trump Train who are more than willing to derail the country. Michigan state representative Rep. Josh Schriver (R-Oxford), a rising locomotive on the MAGA track, recently introduced a heinous resolution. Boasting 12 GOP co-sponsors, this resolution urged the overturning of the Supreme Court of the United States’ Obergefell v. Hodges ruling, which has protected same-sex marriages since 2015.

Outrageous? Yes. Alarming? Absolutely. Unusual? Not at all. As we speak, similar Obergefell-busting resolutions have been introduced in other states including Idaho, Iowa, Montana, North Dakota and South Dakota.

Mere days after trumpeting his vile intentions, Schriver was forced to chow down on his plate of crow when his 12 Klutzy Ko-Konspirators shrank to just six. His feeble attempt to subvert the U.S. Constitution was dealt its final blow when Michigan’s Speaker of the House — a fellow Republican, no less — said the resolution would not be making it out of committee, and actually declared the ruse as “dead on arrival.”

According to DetroitNews.com, this isn’t the first time Schriver has floated legislation right out of a Margaret Atwood fever dream. Schriver has also opposed designating Juneteenth as a holiday, protecting poll workers from harassment, crime victims giving their victim impact statements remotely, and funding for tribal domestic and sexual violence shelters. What a guy.
Notably, Schriver has also said he wants children younger than 18 to be allowed to marry because raising the legal age for marriage would encourage premarital sex. You know what really encourages premarital sex, Josh? Puberty. Legislate that.

I’m sure Schriver respects the decision of his colleagues and will soon ask forgiveness from the people of his district he was elected to protect. And if you believe that one, Trump has an oceanfront condo in Gaza-Lago he wants to sell you.

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