A close up of eggs in the foreground with one egg in the background.

LEGGO MY EMBRYO  | Alabama scrambles to clean up latest assault on families  


By Nancy Ford 

By now, you’ve likely heard about Alabama’s recent challenge to Florida to claim the title of Most Shamelessly Stupid Freaking State in this whole dang nation. 

On February 16, the Alabama Supreme Court issued a ruling declaring that embryos created through in vitro fertilization (IVF) should be considered children. Several of the state’s IVF clinics have since paused services fearing prosecution for “murdering†unused embryos, with lawmakers, doctors, and patients raising concerns about the far-ranging impacts of the ruling on health care, including reproductive technology. 

“For a sizeable portion of our infertility population, IVF is a patient’s best and often only option,†Andrew Harper, medical director of Huntsville Reproductive Medicine in Madison, Alabama, told CNN. Around two percent of babies in the United States are born through IVF, CNN also reported. That percentage is way higher for LGBTQ wanna-be parents, of course. 

Not that you asked, but of nine of Alabama’s Supreme, two are women. All nine are Republicans. I know, I know. I was shocked, too. 

When these wise and virtuous souls who sit on the State Supreme Court of Alabama put their noggins together and decided that IVF embryos should indeed be considered children, just about everyone with a viable, fully developed cerebrum sighed a collective “What the actual living f*ck?â€Â 

The ruling caused late-night TV to explode with punch lines. 

“From now on in Alabama, life begins when a man notices his first cousin is hot,†said The Daily Show’s Desi Lydec. “Just to clarify what’s happening here, tens of thousands of women have children using IVF every year. And since it’s not possible to do that without creating some excess embryos, the state of Alabama has now ruled that starting a family is basically murder. You know, pro-life.â€Â 

The ruling also caused several of the state’s IVF clinics to pause services, throwing thousands of potential parents into confusion if not downright despair. You see, the IVF process requires that numerous eggs be fertilized, and implanted into the mommy-to-be to increase the odds of a successful procedure. The eggs that don’t make that cut are generally frozen, implanted into another hopeful mother, used for research, or disposed of. (For a better, more in-depth, and certainly funnier analysis of how this whole thing works, refer to Friends season nine, episode 13, titled “The One with the Fertility Testâ€. In it, Phoebe is implanted with multiple embryos as a favor to her brother and his wife. Now that’s what I call sisterly love.) 

So a cry went out across the land that fertilized eggs — any fertilized eggs — are children. Meanwhile, nearly 24 percent of Alabama’s already-birthed children — all 228,000 of them — live in poverty. Plus, one in five Alabama children are food insecure, according to the fine folks at the Equal Justice Initiative.  

Fortunately, it took a mere 13 days for the Alabama Legislature to blow back the whirlwind of shame their highest court had sown with their ridiculous, bigoted, anti-science and (gasp!) anti-family edict. On February 29, their Lege moved to protect in-vitro fertilization services after a slew of fertility clinics shut down.  

So, happy ending, right? The IVF crisis is over, right? Sure, until some other idiotic Dixie state decides that its own needs to gin up its reputation as a leading Handmaid’s Tale state.  

Unfortunately, the crisis very much continues for too many LGBTQ couples and individuals who want to expand their families. 

Last year, ABC News reported that as a growing number of same-sex couples turn to intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization to have children, many believe they’re encountering “entrenched inequality†in how benefits are provided by health insurers and employers.  

“While insurance companies in more than a dozen states offer no-cost fertility treatments for straight couples who struggle to get pregnant, they often refuse to cover those same services for lesbian or gay couples until they’ve paid out of pocket for up to a year,†the report found. 

Crisis over? Not by a long shot, my friends. The forces of evil are working overtime to prevent LGBTQ folks from forming full, child-stocked families, whether it’s trying to upend marriage equality or imposing bans on LGBTQ couples and individuals from fostering and adopting children.  

So… is everybody registered to vote? Just checking.

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