HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

But buckle up, Buttercups

By Nancy Ford

Happy New Year! Cheers to those of us who made it all the way through 2024 to thrust head first into 2025 — no small feat, as we all know.

Admittedly, there isn’t much Happy in this traditional New Year greeting. As of MONTROSE STAR’s publication date, President Joe Biden (Hey, can I call him Joe? Remember that now-docile Palinism? Ah, gentler times) had less than a week to complete his much-maligned term in the Oval Office.

Despite desperate claims to the contrary, “Sleepy Joe” wasn’t sleeping while he sat at the Resolute Desk — at least not on a regular basis. The work he did for the American people has even prompted pundits at the right-leaning The Hill to dub him “a historically transformative president (with) landmark domestic accomplishments comparable to Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal and Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society.” Not too shabby for a supposed serial napper.

Like there’s something wrong with napping. I guess it’s hard to nap, though, when you’re all jacked up on Adderal and Diet Coke.

During his stay in the White House, Joe delivered impactful policy to lift up not only Americans but also the greater world population. Specifically:

  • Joe convinced Congress to endorse $4.6 trillion in investments to bring down the coronavirus pandemic with free vaccinations and treatments. Covid is still with us, sure, but far, far fewer people are lost to it these days. Far fewer. And we didn’t even have to drink bleach or suppositorize a fluorescent light tube to protect ourselves.
  • Not only did Joe reduce health insurance and prescription drug costs for millions of Americans, but also, there were no new pandemics. Say it with me: “No new pandemics!” Joe made it safe for us to rip off those infernal yet life saving masks and burn them on a gruesome pyre of nearly 400,000 Americans. Good thing too, because nobody wants a mask tan line; it’s important for our aggregate complexion to blend gently and seamlessly, rather than creating a jarring demarcating line of pallid, iridescent flesh. That’s just weird and orangutan-y.
  • Joe embraced compassion and common decency like they are good things, instead of traits of weakness. He cut taxes for middle-class and working-class families — and some businesses — and simultaneously imposed a minimum tax on multibillion-dollar corporations. He cracked down on wealthy tax cheats, because even my 86 year-old, uber-conservative Aunt Donna knows trickle down economics (Golden Shower Economics, if you will) is the least effective way to give a leg up to middle-class and working-class families.
  • By the end of his term, Joe had created more than 16 million jobs and cut unemployment from its 6.3 percent rate in 2021 to 4.2 percent in November 2024. Those were new jobs, mind you — largely clean-energy jobs and manufacturing jobs — not just Covid bounce-back jobs.
  • Kamala Harris could have and likely would have continued Joe’s legacy of success to protect and defend our country. But no. Despite her sterling credentials, including having been a Prosecutor specializing in cases of child sexual abuse. She’s never been to Epstein Island.
  • As California District Attorney, she focused on domestic violence and gun violence and increased the conviction rate to incarcerate rapists and murderers. She also launched progressive programs to help low-level, non-violent offenders turn from their crimey ways and become productive citizens in society. The nerve!
  • As Vice President of the United States, she cast the deciding vote to lower drug prices and cap insulin prices for seniors and worked to expand that policy to all Americans.
  • As the Democratic presidential nominee, she chose Minnesota Governor and cuddly grandpa Tim Walz as her running mate. So far, there has been no evidence to suggest Gov. Walz ever got busy with a couch. Not even a rumor of such — not even ottoman foreplay.
  • She defied violent transnational gangs and scammy banks, alike. Sorry to repeat myself.
  • Believing climate change is a real thing, she rallied against it while creating clean-energy jobs and manufacturing jobs.
  • She helped strengthen NATO.
  • She fought for reproductive freedom.
  • When she dances, she looks like a human being.

Ah, what could have been. Coulda – woulda – shoulda.

The next four years will be a definitive period in the history of our nation, to say the least. But as we are thrust into the morass (pun intended) of Trump 2.0, let’s end on a hopeful note by quoting Former First Lady Michelle Obama in her keynote address at the Young African Women Leaders Forum. That’ll piss him off.

“You may not always have a comfortable life, and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once, but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have,” Michelle, then Kamala, said. “Because history has shown us that courage can be contagious, and hope can take on a life of its own.”

Happy New Year, my dears. Be safe. Stay strong. Have hope.

Related Posts

About author

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Do not miss