A band aid on the side of a red heart.

Crying sour grapes over Valentine’s Day

By Forest Riggs

It’s that time again! As humans, we are allowed only so many Christmases, Easters, Halloweens, etc. In fact, our days are numbered from the moment we take a breath. 

As the years pass, and we move from the cradle toward the grave, holidays and special celebrations become more and more meaningful and poignant. They should be, anyway. 

Valentine’s Day is one that really hits hard, especially for those who are single. If being home, alone, on New Year’s Eve is not the perfect time to experience loneliness, then Valentine’s Day comes along and again, if single, the little pointed arrows that should be flying from Cupid’s bow become slashing daggers that pierce the heart. 

I have always believed that most all humans are born happy and live a happy existence until they reach the age, if so inclined, that it is important to have a mate or someone special — that age where you realize it is important to desire and be desired. This is when things can either progress positively or take a turn that can wind on forever. Getting older and closer to the end of the journey can become even painful and downright depressing. When one is young in age, they don’t often think about such things. “Live, love and enjoy†that is the motto by which they navigate life. 

For some people, being alone is a choice; for others, it just seems to happen. Over time, it forms a pattern. For whatever reason(s), some people tend to always find themselves alone at those special times when they should be coupled, desired, seeking and sought after. Sometimes it just happens that way. Maybe at some point in the year, a new romance or interest comes along and it seems wonderful, fulfilling and exciting. Then, out of nowhere, the ugly monster of separation and split-up rears its head and bites. BAM! Alone again.

The old saying goes that “even a blind squirrel gets an acorn now and then.†Perhaps this is true. But why is it for some, the acorns never seem to fall at the right time, around special days or times when the acorn would be most appreciated. 

For many people, everyone knows them, and the acorns are constantly falling! They are never without “the love of my life,†even if they just partnered with another great “love†not long before. 

How and why we seek an acorn can determine the probability of finding one. Some folks want a basket full, always, while others would appreciate one great find. The entire concept of one human loving another is complicated, to say the least, and finding someone that reciprocates the love, can be even more complex.

Many live a lifetime of experiencing unrequited love. This is the worst kind of love. One gives so much of themself and of their heart, and when the feelings are not returned, for whatever reason, it is painful. After such an event, the person starts again, only with a little less love and heart to give. 

This pattern, with time, can lead to real loneliness and bitterness, especially on Valentine’s Day. This is the day for love, for flirting and declarations. The day expected to be filled with red hearts, boxes of candies, cards and romantic dinners. Even with all the commercialization, it is still a fantastic day — for couples and those in love.

Being single on Valentine’s Day or having no romantic interest is perhaps more anguishing and depressing for an older person than it is to someone much younger. For those who are younger, there is still time for romance and the cards, candy, romantic dinners and sweet kisses. For the older person, habitually alone but still wanting someone, it can be incredibly sad and hurtful, as they know they will get only so many more Valentine’s Days in their journey. “Next year will be better, I will have someone in my life!†becomes the mantra of the lonely.

For those that are coupled or working on it, make the day and the evening special. If there is a “would be…could be…should be,†in your life, take the plunge and let them know. Over the past nine months, we learned, as if we did not already know, life is short; one never knows when the journey comes to an end. 

Love is best when expressed or showered on others. Valentine’s Day offers the perfect opportunity to express care, concern and love. The “eternally†single and lonely recipient of a card or phone call might be completely lifted and overjoyed to feel that someone cares, especially on a day when Cupid’s tiny arrows have become daggers. Make Valentine’s Day special for yourself and for someone else!

A resident of Galveston where he can be found wasting bait and searching for the meaning of life, Forest Riggs recently completed a collection of short stories about his beloved island and is working on a novel.

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