By Johnny Trlica 

Commentary: “Hi. My name is (insert name here), and I’m a Trump addict.” Like an Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, or Gamblers Anonymous meeting, a 12-step program for Trump addicts should start with a confession.  

Trumpism is not a cult after all; it’s an addiction and therefore should be treated as one. Not all Republicans are Trump addicts, but ask anyone who attends Al-Anon: An addict controls the family dynamics. While there is no cure for addiction, 12-step programs have proven to be effective in helping people regain control of their lives.  

Here are the 12 steps a Trump addict can follow: 

1. We admitted we were powerless over Trumpism — that our lives had become unmanageable. Like an alcoholic with bourbon, Trump addicts voluntarily drank the Kool-Aid. They gulped Trump’s criminality, lies, moral failures and racism, and call it “fake news.” Either that or they make excuses or blame others. He really could “shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose any supporters.” They fail or refuse to see how their fealty to an evil man taints their own belief system. Many Trumpers proclaim to be “good Christian conservatives” yet follow a man who is the antithesis of good or Christian. Like the alcoholic who wakes up in a stranger’s bed following a night of debauchery, they know they should stop drinking but just cannot quit.  

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. In a Trumper’s mind, there is no greater power than Trump. Many even declare him the second coming of Jesus Christ. Like a cocaine addict will drop to his knees to snort the rocks out of a shag carpet, Trumpers have knelt before the golden statue they made in his image. Really!  

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Once again, Trump is their God. He is more than a defeated former president to them. What else explains the “Trump Won,” and “Stop the Steal,” flags that still adorn the homes and businesses of a Trumper? As much as the left may have loved Hillary Clinton and feel she was cheated, they were able to accept her defeat.    

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Somewhere underneath all the hate and vile rhetoric, compassion and a sense of right and wrong lie waiting to be rediscovered and released. Trumpers have hitched their wagon to someone who cares about nothing but himself. And money! 

5. Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. They can start with admitting that their candidate lost the 2020 election. Then admit that MAGA attacked the United States Capital to overthrow the government and install their hero to the throne. 

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. This of course, will require an admission that blind faith in the most corrupt president in U.S. history is a character defect. The lies, told on Trump’s behalf, the excuses made for his behavior and the silence on the atrocities he’s committed will come later, one day at a time. 

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. This Him is referring to God, not Trump. In case there was confusion. 

8. Made a list of persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Let’s start with the 140+ police officers injured or killed by Trumpers on January 6, 2021. Many were beaten with Trump flagpoles, others hit with baseball bats, fire extinguishers and bear spray. This, from the people who used to proclaim themselves the “law and order party.” 

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Any American who still believes in democracy, the right to vote and the peaceful transfer of power is owed an amends. 

10.  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Progress, not perfection. There is nothing to be ashamed of for being duped by a con man. Continuing to be conned? Well, that’s on you. 

11.  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Maybe it’s time to reprise the 1990’s phrase, “What would Jesus do?” First of all, Jesus would not brag about grabbing women by the crotch.   

12.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Trumpers and to practice these principles in all our affairs. How wonderful would this be!  

We are not sure how effective Trump Anonymous meetings would be, but they are likely to have awesome food: Big Macs, fried chicken, pizza, and Diet Coke. Would anyone else like to share? 

Keep coming back, it works. 

The first 12 step program began with Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) in the 1930s and has since grown to be the most widely used approach in dealing not only with recovery from alcoholism but also from drug abuse and various other addictive and dysfunctional behaviors. For this article, we replaced the word alcohol with Trumper or Trumpism. The Twelve Steps are used under an agreement from CC licensing and AA. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/