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Houston’s LGBTQ bars as ranked by Google reviews

By Johnny Trlica

Commentary: Review! Reviews! Reviews! Businesses are all about the reviews they receive nowadays. Unfortunately, most people only take the time to write a review when they have had a negative experience. And write, they do! Why is it that negative reviews are always 10 times longer than a positive one?

The next time you have a great experience at your favorite bar or restaurant, besides just leaving a good tip, write a positive review about your service, waiter, bartender, or drag performer. We really don’t care that your water glass was not kept full enough to your liking. 

Meantime, Houston’s gay bar scene continues to evolve. The home of the Montrose Mining Company is now Postino Wine Café, having just opened. One of the most exciting elements of the 805 Pacific Street locale is a wall of images that pays homage to the space’s history as a number of bars, including the Tattooed Lady, Pacific Street Station, and Uncle Charlie’s.

Rich’s, a staple in the gay club scene since the 1980’s announced they are abandoning the 2401 San Jacinto Street location on September 28. The club plans to relocate to an undisclosed Montrose locality at the shuttered F Bar setting on Tuam Street.

Speaking of reviews, Rich’s currently is among the lowest rated Bayou City gay bars, according to Google reviews. Its 3.9 average places the midtown party spot well below most of its competition for the LGBTQ dollar.

Here are the Google reviews for Houston’s gay bars along with select comments from the reviewers: (In cases of a tie the bar is listed in alphabetical order.)

1. Hamburger Mary’s (4.5) ties for the top rating among Houston area clubs, with a 4.5 rating. “Amazing food! The burgers and queso were top notch! Service was very friendly; Wayne helped us with making decisions as all of the food looked delicious. Make sure you get a reservation for the show! Those ladies are amazing and always entertain!†says a review.

2. Neon Boots (4.5) ties for first with a reviewer saying, “I loved this bar. I happened to stop by here on a Friday evening and the night turned out amazing. Fun environment. The DJ is awesome. They play everything here and all kinds of music! Good drinks as well.â€

3. Eagle (4.4). “Fun atmosphere and love the music! Great crowd of people!â€

4. Michael’s Outpost (4.4). “Went with a group of folks to celebrate a passing of a friend who frequented Michael’s. We had a great time. It was caberet [or cabaret?] night and what a blast! The hostess was sassy, foul mouthed (where’s the tip jar!) and a lot of fun! The venue is small and cozy. Bring ones for tipping your queens! After the show, it was piano time. Billy Joel and Elton John songs were sung by the crowd sitting around the piano. Reminder, it is a dive bar so stick to your basics.â€

5. Pearl Bar (4.4). “I was there with a friend and my daughter. This is a very laid back chill bar. Everybody at the bar was great. And it was Tuesday night steak night. This by far was the best steak that I have outside my own. And I have been to all the steaks houses in Houston. The owner cooks the steaks on the grill outside on charcoal. You cannot get better than that. Great drinks.â€

6. Ripcord (4.4). “One of the best bars in that area. Definitely the most unpretentious, low key and down to earth vibe than the others. My go-to spot.â€

7. Tony’s Corner Pocket (4.4). “The shows are worth the trip there alone. The bartenders are nice and good drinks. Plus the view downtown is breathtaking.â€

8. Guava Lamp (4.3). “Went to Guava on Sunday. I really enjoyed the overall Guava atmosphere. Employees were very friendly, the place was very clean, and most importantly drinks were great.â€

9. La Granja Disco Y Cantina (4.3). “Fun place. They always make you feel welcome. Great music to listen or dance to. It is great to have a close neighborhood bar. Come check it out. You will be pleased!â€

10. Ranch Hill Saloon (4.3). “Best local gay bar. Very friendly.â€

11. Viviana’s (4.3). “Great service. No words to describe the best customer service. 10 stars up.â€

12. Crocker (4.2). “Hands down, one the best bar in the Montrose area. Great service. Friendly environment. Strong drinks for a good price. Strict with the ID rule so don’t forget to bring it.â€

13. JR’s (4.2). “Honestly one of the best places in Houston to visit. The beer and the bartenders are fantastic. Make sure to visit and enjoy!â€

14. Barcode (4.1). “Great shows, great crowd, everything was super nice! Also loved the restroom sign.â€

15. George (4.1). “Cozy sports bar in the heart of the Montrose. Extremely friendly staff.â€

16. The Room Bar and Lounge (4.1). “Cute place. So much better than I expected.â€

17. Blur (3.9). “Blur is awesome, hands down. Never had a bad moment here, just fun times. Love you, Blur.â€

18. Rich’s (3.9). “This place guarantees you a great night out. It’s really big and has an upstairs, providing separate event rooms. I recommend buying a ticket online (for events) and skipping the line.â€

19. Crystal Night Club (3.4). “I like this place. Good Latin music to dance and have fun. I recommend this place.â€

We focused on only positive reviews for this article. See, it’s not that hard.

Correction: In the September 4, 2019 HRH column, Lamar Consolidated was named as having won the state championship in 2006. It was, in fact, 2007. We apologize for the error.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of the MONTROSE STAR.Johnny Trlica is the manager of the Houston Rainbow Herald Facebook page, your source for the latest LGBTQ news and information. Contact him at [email protected].

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