Make 2025 a year of letting go

By Johnny Trlica

Commentary: Words of wisdom from comedian W.C. Fields go, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” Does there come a time when you have to just accept that you’ve lost? At what stage is continuing the fight counterproductive and detrimental to one’s own wellbeing?

My first awareness of discrimination came as a child attending movies like The Unsinkable Molly Brown in downtown Rosenberg. The Cole Theatre had a “colored entrance” with a back stairway that led to the balcony. The main entrance allowed access to the lower seating arena, closest to the stage and screen.
By the time the Cole Theatre closed in 1983, it was fully segregated. It is currently being renovated.
In 1978, I was a 22-year-old gay man looking for an apartment to share with my first boyfriend. After searching the apartment guide booklets, we decided on one and went to check it out. We told the elderly female leasing agent we wanted a one-bedroom apartment, and I still remember her response, “We don’t rent one bedrooms to two men.”

I can still feel the embarrassment and shame she caused me that day. I felt dirty.

While the practice of denying housing to same sex couples is a rarity nowadays, it still occurred until four years ago. Discrimination based on an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity are now considered types of “sex” discrimination prohibited by the federal Fair Housing Act (FHA), according to a 2021 memorandum issued by HUD.

Discrimination in all forms is harmful, but change happens. Sometimes it just takes a long damn time.
In October of last year, I had occasion to attend my high school class’s 50th reunion. (Our class that graduated in 1974 attended segregated schools until the fifth grade.) Everyone in attendance was colorblind and did not care who you loved. They were just glad to see each other. We were reminded of our class motto:
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

You’ll hear that prayer at every AA meeting but no, we did not all grow up to be a bunch of alcoholics! I’ve decided to make adhering to those words my New Year’s resolution. It is time to let some things go. I’ll start with the presidential election.

My team lost and anti-trans discrimination played a significant role in that. No matter how much I complain about the country returning a convicted felon to the Oval Office, that’s what will happen this month. To the victor go the spoils. So, it’s time to accept the inevitable and let it go.

In addition to concern for the environment, women’s healthcare rights and the nation’s lack of moral character, I am very anxious about the possibility of LGBTQ+ rights being turned back. Pam Bondi, Donald Trump’s choice to be the new Attorney General actively fought against legalization of same-sex marriage and resisted all attempts to afford protections for Florida’s LGBTQ+ community.

Trump’s pick to lead the Department of Defense, Pete Hegseth, could benefit from an AA meeting or two or more. The former Fox News host believes allowing gay people to serve openly in the military is detrimental to combat readiness and that trans people should not be allowed to serve at all.

The Serenity Prayer frees us to do the things that we enjoy. In all honesty, we cannot do much to make a difference in the price of eggs or gasoline, the weather, traffic or anyone who annoys us. When we waste our energy on that which we have no control over, we don’t have the energy to make the most of the opportunities we do have. Recognizing the difference between what we can and cannot change can help us live more peaceful and productive lives.

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” While I’ll keep up the fight against all forms of discrimination whenever I can, in the New Year, I’ll focus on the positive like our newest columns here in the MONTROSE STAR: Drag Queen of the Month and Bartender of the Month. They both focus on the good things in our lives and give the people profiled an opportunity to shine.

Cultivating optimism has been shown to make it much more likely you’ll be able to change the things you can, as well as accept the things you can’t. Saying that, please join me one day for a drag show or “Gays in the Military Night” at the renovated Cole Theatre.

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