Ode to First (and Last) Dates and Finding Oneself

By Johnny Trlica

Commentary: “It was the third of June, another sleepy dusty delta day,†or something like that. 

Birthdays (July 7) are a time of reflection and my 67th finds me looking back on my life. One of the things I recall is my memory of my first and last date with a girl. 

Before I admitted I was gay I tried very hard not to be. I once went to a drive-in movie with my childhood friend, Nancy. We were working together at the Rosenberg Sonic Drive-In, she the fountain girl and I the lead hamburger maker, and one day we both had the night off. 

The movie we saw can best be described as a sexploitation film, popular in the 1960s and ’70s. During one particularly racy scene, the windows of my ’63 Pontiac Bonneville fogged up. Nancy and I looked at each other and simultaneously rolled down the windows. We laughed it off as we both realized we were just friends. 

A few months later I went on what I call my first real date with another co-worker. Who knew Sonic had so many hot babes working there? 

Her name was Alicia and she had beautiful long red hair. She was a very nice girl and was one of my sister Robin’s best friends. They later became roommates. 

After being the perfect gentleman and picking her up at the front door we went to the State Theatre in downtown Rosenberg to see Ode to Billy Joe starring teen heartthrob Robby Benson and Glynnis O’Connor. All I knew about the film was that it was based on Bobbie Gentry’s 1967 hit song of the same title and was directed by Max Baer Jr. — Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies. It seemed like it would be a harmless date movie. Gurl, was I mistaken! The “Recommended Adult Entertainment†advisory should have been a warning. 

The film is described by Wikipedia as Set in 1953, the film explores the budding relationship between teenagers Billy Joe McAllister and Bobbie Lee Hartley. One night at a jamboree, McAllister gets drunk and enters a makeshift brothel. In his inebriated state, he had sex with another man. 

After his intimate encounter, Billy Joe disappears for several days. He then returns, and Bobbie Lee finally submits to her passions at a secluded spot near the bridge and encourages him to make love to her. Owing to his guilt, however, Billy Joe cannot consummate their relationship. He admits to Bobbie Lee that he has been with a man, and when she tries to reason that he was drunk, so maybe didn’t have complete control of himself and didn’t really know what was going on, he confesses that he knew what he was doing, knew it was wrong, and did it anyway because he wanted to. Tearfully, he bids her an enigmatic goodbye and subsequently kills himself by jumping off the bridge spanning the Tallahatchie River. 

Here I am, a young man questioning (or denying) his own sexual orientation, and this is the movie I see on my first real date. Not only did the movie portray being gay as wrong but also as not worthy of living. I knew how Billy Joe felt. In the film, Billy Joe had confessed his love to Bobbie Lee only to cover his growing fear that he may, in fact, be homosexual. I was on a date practically doing the same thing. 

I could not get Alicia home quickly enough. As I pulled up to her house, opened her car door, and walked her to the door all I could think of was, “Do I kiss her?†I didn’t. We said goodnight with a clumsy handshake and hug. 

Billy Joe’s guilt caused him to run away and hide in the woods. Metaphorically I was running too by pretending to be someone I was not. In the end, he cannot accept his sexuality and throws himself off a bridge. Thankfully, I learned to embrace mine. 

That was my last date with a girl as a few weeks later I had my first sexual encounter, in the back seat of that same ’63 Bonneville. His name was John Duran and, oh yeah, he worked with me at the Sonic. There must have been something in the slushes. 

As time passed, Nancy wedded the Sonic manager, but the marriage ended in divorce after four years. 

Alicia was a roommate with Robin until my sister married and moved to Pearland to start a family. She came to realize I was gay since John and I would visit her and Robin at their apartment. They were the first individuals to ever treat me and a boyfriend as a couple — with all due respect and honor. 

John and I dated for a few months but eventually grew apart. He died about 15 years ago. 

I credit Ode to Billy Joe with triggering feelings I had been suppressing and wish the film had not shown suicide as Billy Joe’s way of dealing with his sexuality. Thankfully being true to oneself is a lot different today than it was in 1953. “And me, I spend a lot of time†wondering how many young LGBTQ+ people, both in the past and present, felt (feel) that their best option is the route that Billy took. 

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent those of the Montrose Star. Johnny Trlica is the editor of the Houston Rainbow Herald Facebook page and has been published in several newspapers and magazines. He grew up in Rosenberg, Texas, lived for over 30 years in the Montrose, and now resides in Galveston, Texas. He may be contacted at HRHeditor@gmail.com.